The grief process after a loved one has committed suicide is very complicated and can make you feel alienated from other people. You should know that what you are experiencing is not uncommon, and there is support available to help you carry on. Read on to get a better idea of what you or your loved ones are feeling and see how reaching out can help you heal.
Understanding Trauma and Complicated Grief
Suicide is traumatic for both the family and friends of the person who has completed this act. Not only are you faced with the loss, but you have to confront the fact that your loved one chose to leave in this manner.
When a parent commits suicide, this creates great emotional turmoil for children since they may reason that the parent would have stuck around for them despite problems. Since the parent did not, the children may feel unlovable. It should also be noted that the death may have been the culmination of years of addiction or mental illness, like depression, which would also have had effects on the children.
A parent who has lost a child due to suicide will be often be plagued with "If onlys," plus shame, guilt, and responsibility for what happened.
The term complicated grief refers to a condition where prolonged acute grief interferes with your healing and functioning and makes it impossible to have a meaningful life. This can cause you to feel stuck in time; and even good memories you may have had seem to be reinterpreted as sad or as tainted. This can lead you to suicidal thoughts because of the intensity of your feelings and the desire for relief. Survivors can also feel great anxiety as time goes by, and experience the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Professional Help and Support Groups
It is very important to seek professional help when you are experiencing significant depression, feel stuck in grief, or are experiencing bouts of anxiety. Places like Albano Fischetti Counseling can help you to express what you are feeling and aid you in moving past your grief. It may also be necessary to see a medical professional for psychotropic medication to combat the health effects of depression and anxiety.
Survivor's groups (including some on social media) can be helpful, because they can provide a place for you to feel understood and safe; and, you'll maintain a sense of privacy that you may not get with immediate acquaintances. An excellent book to read on the subject is Silent Grief – Living in the Wake of Suicide by Christopher Lucas and Henry M. Seiden, Ph.D. If you can better understand your grief and confront stigmas about suicide, you'll be better able to identify when you need help and reach out to others when you need support.
Share16 January 2015
Having a daughter comes with a number of challenges. One challenge that you will one day need to tackle is determining when to introduce your daughter to the gynecologist. Do you take your daughter to the same gynecologist that you see or take her somewhere else? Do you wait until she gets her first period or do you take her in to learn about the menstrual cycle from the doctor? There is a long list of questions you likely have about introducing your daughter to the world of gynecology. Having gone through this twice myself, I have learned quite a bit and have included a lot of helpful information in my site to help other parents get through this complicated time a little easier.
